Joan Mary Etzrodt was born in 1926 in Jersey City, NJ and grew up in a small two-story house in nearby Wood-Ridge. After graduating from Wood-Ridge High School, she attended Miami University of Ohio where she earned her bachelor’s degree in dietetics and met her future husband, Harold Langenderfer, whom she supported through two graduate programs in Chicago and Indiana. Her oldest son, Tom, was born in 1952 in Bloomington, IN as Harold was finishing his doctorate, and their second child, Amy, came along in 1954 after they arrived in Chapel Hill. Though North Carolina became their home for the rest of their lives, they loved to travel, and it was during a two-year teaching stint in Egypt that their third child, Jeff, was born and fourth child Chris was conceived. Joan often said that she went to Egypt pregnant and came home pregnant, a daunting challenge for a young mother in the early 1960s. Egypt must have seemed to her at the time to be an exotic and far-away place, so much so that a two-year trip felt almost surreal to her, particularly with the knowledge that she was to give birth there. But Joan was game for the adventure as she was for many, many other adventures throughout her life.
Joan had such a warm and caring spirit. She was a loving mother who really adored babies. Of course, she also loved her kids as they grew out of their infant stage, but was perhaps less enamored of teenagers (especially the ones who gave her the most grief). While Harold was focused on work (and golf), the role of caregiver fell primarily to Joan, who plunged herself fully into child-rearing, being a school support parent, child taxi driver, and family disciplinarian. Misbehavior in church or school brought a swift rebuke from her, often accompanied by an equally swift swat of her powerful hand. But she was even quicker to bestow hugs and kisses and was always there for her kids whenever they needed her.
Joan was a champion volunteer who gave her time freely, working with Caring and Sharing, a Catholic charity that distributes donated clothing and other household items to families in need. She also volunteered with Porch, a food relief program, and Meals on Wheels, delivering lunches weekly for more than thirty years until she was older than all the meal recipients on her route.
She was a generous cook who loved few things more than feeding a crowd with comfort food of the highest order. Every visitor to her home was offered something to eat, and if they accepted, was immediately offered more. There was no such thing as being too hungry for Joan Langenderfer’s bounty.
Joan’s generosity extended beyond food. She loved giving gifts and Christmas was easily her favorite season, an opportunity for even more gift-giving, celebrated with family and friends.
She was a Master Gardener and was a member of the Chapel Hill Garden Club for many years. She had a talent for bringing orchids into bloom that rivaled professional nurseries, and had a deft touch when addressing whatever was ailing her plantings, or those of her friends and neighbors whose thumbs were not as green.
Joan had a seemingly limitless sense of humor. She was named Class Cutup and Class Clown her senior year in high school, and that embrace of comedy was a theme throughout her life until almost the very end. Everyone who knew Joan remembers laughing with her; she found humor in so many aspects of life.
At some point, Joan took up basket weaving and stocked the house with bags of reeds and buckets of water for softening them en route to their transformation into an array of baskets of myriad complex styles. Baskets filled her house and those of her family and friends. Though she couldn’t bear to sell her creations, she freely gave them away throughout her circle.
Though Joan was only really home in Chapel Hill once taking root there, she loved to travel and in her 50s began guiding tours all over the US and abroad. Among her numerous expeditions were trips to Banff and Lake Louise, Australia and New Zealand, Hawaii, Branson, MO, several places in Eastern and Western Europe, and South America. Her now-expired passport books are full of stamps.
Joan loved crosswords and Sudoku. She loved finding deals and sometimes returning those deals after finding them. She loved Carolina basketball, and in spite of some sharp disagreements with the Catholic Church leadership over the years, she loved her church home, Saint Thomas More in Chapel Hill.
Joan passed away on Tuesday, February 13th, and is survived by her four children: Tom (sp. Janet), Amy (ptnr. Nate Ashcraft), Jeff (sp. Susan Hasbrouck), Chris, and her five grandchildren: Ian Cleaveland, Daniel Cleaveland, Katie Phillips, Julia Langenderfer, and Jake Langenderfer. She was preceded in death by her husband Harold, her brother Bill Etzrodt, and by so many of her friends. She left a lasting legacy of caring generosity and a spirit of joyous humor that lives on in all who knew her. We miss her every day.
A memorial service will be held on Friday, March 15th, 2024 at Saint Thomas More Church in Chapel Hill, NC at 10:30 AM with a reception following.
Funeral Arrangements are entrusted to First Cremation Society of Louisburg.
Online Condolences may be given by visiting www.firstcremation.com
